Fleet Maker

Public Speakers! Tips on Responding Gracefully to Praise - Even When You Think You’ve Bombed

We’re critical creatures. Oh boy, are we ever critical! And when it comes to our expectations of ourselves, we’re truly merciless.

But wait a minute. Is that necessary? Is it productive? Is it even kind to ourselves and others? Accepting praise is a real art; accepting praise for what we consider a less-than-sterling performance requires an Oscar-winning performance!

Here are things to consider as you prepare yourself for that performance:

1. Remember that you are your own worst critic. Unless your admirers are, themselves, experts in your field they aren’t likely to pick up on, or care about, any small glitches in your presentation. What they will recall is their overall impression, or the part of your talk that is of particular interest to them.

2. You are the Speaker because you’re considered to be an expert in your subject or to have special or important information. Your listeners, in most cases, are there to learn from you. You know things that your audience wants to know.

3. Lay your ego aside. Forget how you are feeling about your performance. Don’t let it get in the way of accepting your admirers’ praises.

4. If you feel overcome with shyness at being complimented, think of your interaction as being the same as you would have with a close friend. Then relax and be yourself.

5. When a person is saying complimentary things about you or your presentation, she or he may well be wanting to be recognized by you as being a worthwhile or educated person.

George Bernard Shaw, in The Devil’s Disciple, wrote: “The worst sin to our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that’s the essence of inhumanity.”

6. Your admirer may feel intimidated by your expertise and real or assumed “position” and may stutter and stammer while trying to find the words to express their admiration. Be patient. Do not fill in their sentences for them. Simply look encouraging and give them time to get their words in order. Priceless or original comments often emerge if you allow the time and attention.

7. Please do not look over their head to see if there’s someone more important waiting to talk to you.

8. And do not, please, turn away from an admirer who has waited to thank you, and engage in lengthy “buddy” conversations with family, friends or peers while your admirer cools her/his heels, feeling increasingly insignificant!

9. If you must interrupt your attention to an admirer, excuse yourself, do what you need to do, and return your attention to your admirer promptly, with a brief word of apology.

10. Remember always that you are at the service of your audience. Serve them by treasuring their comments and their thank you’s.

11. You may be special in your field. But, as a human being, each member of your audience is every bit as special and valuable as you are. Treat them that way!

Carole McMichaels, Author: “Fearless Public Speaking: How To Get Rid of Your Stage Fright and Prepare and Deliver a Winning Presentation.” A lifetime as a performing musician and composer, coupled with over 30 years as a therapist/coach and public speaker has given me a varied and comprehensive background for working effectively with clients on the technical, structural and emotional aspects of public speaking. Besides that, it’s fun!

You are welcome to use this article, for free, to reproduce online or in print. When you do, please print my URL or add a link to my website. Thank you.
http://www.getridofpublicspeakingfears.com

Fight The Fluff!

The first and final rule of quality writing is this: what doesn’t strengthen your writing, weakens it.

There are no neutral words when you’re trying to be persuasive - every word must be doing real work and every sentence must be necessary. Don’t say in two sentences what you can say in one; don’t use five words when you can use three. Don’t use a five-syllable word when an available two-syllable word means the same thing. Take the fluff out of your writing.

Fluff is the often subtle cancer that grows - and ultimately kills - good writing. If your writing isn’t achieving the effects you want, consider a few of the warning signs of a fluff infection:

Redundancy. Analyze your writing for places where you are repeating yourself. It happens often, particularly when the writer isn’t convinced that the reader will get the point without it. Give your reader some credit. Make each point once and make it effectively - and then don’t make it again.

Tangents. A good piece of writing is one that makes a single effective point, supported by other lesser ones; anything that doesn’t directly contribute to that support structure is a distraction and an excuse to stop reading. Don’t take readers on side trips and don’t let them catch their breath. Cut out anything that doesn’t directly advance the final cause.

Ornamentation. Ornamentation happens when a writer is hit with a sudden burst of creativity, and the writing ends up saddled with clever turns of phrase that don’t contribute anything but wit. This is what Hemingway was referring to when he advised writers to kill their darlings - art is all well and good, but make sure it keeps its day job.

Pointless modifiers. Adverbs (words that modify verbs) and adjectives (words that modify nouns) are a little like salt and pepper - useful in very small doses, very bad in big ones. They’re often used by lazy writers in an attempt to convince generic nouns (”the beautiful, voluptuous woman”) and verbs (”he ran very quickly”) to do more interesting jobs. The English language is full of precision nouns and verbs; whenever possible, use the right words rather than trying to modify the wrong ones.

Needless qualifiers and hedging. Phrases like “and yet, on balance” and “it could be considered” destroy more confidence than they create. Be direct and write with strength: boldly write what you know, and leave out what you don’t.

Pretentious language. Occasionally, we all have a crisis of confidence that leads us to think that we need large words and cumbersome sentences in order to be taken seriously. This is when it is time to take a nap and let the feeling pass; “extraneous solutions that minimally impact positive budget modifications” is never going to sound better than “it won’t work because it costs more than it’ll make back”.

About The Author

Robert Warren (www.rswarren.com) is a Florida-based freelance copywriter specializing in the unique marketing needs of independent professionals.

writer@rswarren.com

Writing a book - tips from an author #4

Style is one of the most important considerations when writing a
bestseller, and as we mentioned in previous articles, they key
is consistency. It’s almost a hallmark of a top 10 best seller
to have a strong, consistent style. Therefore, hit on a style,
and stick to it throughout the novel. Here’s a quick checklist
for you that should help ensure you keep a consistent style as
you write a book. You can save yourself an awful lot of time if
you try and avoid the need for editing any copy you use in your
plotting stafge. For example, if you create a useful plot card
for one of your chapters, write it properly, in the style you
intend to use within the actual text of the book. That way you
can cut and paste it simply and start expanding WITHOUT having
to rewrite it from scratch. The Plot Card system on www.GetPlotted.com is
excellent for this - when you swap over to manuscript format to
actually start writing your chapter, the plot card is right
there alongside, so if you want to cut and paste, you can.

Number 1 novel writing style point - passive or active voice.
The choice is yours, but most readers prefer the active style -
after all, you are telling them a story! If you don’t understand
the difference, contrast these 2 sentences:- ‘Is it time for
tea’ and ‘Do you think it’s time for tea’?

Number 2 novel writing style point - don’t telegraph your
punches. In other words, don’t keep repeating yourself, You want
your readers to be surprised at developments. If you foreshadow
too strongly, the plot will seem obvious and even turgid.

Number 3 novel writing style point - try not to begin sentences
with ‘It’ or ‘There’. For example, writing ‘There were 3 wise
men who decided to visit Bethlehem’ is clumsy in the extreme.
How much better is ‘Three Wise Men, observing a new star in the
sky, decided to travel east to Bethlehem’. Likewise, ‘It was
impossible to find room at the Inn’ is nowhere near as good as
‘The travelers found it impossible to find lodgings that night
as all the Inns were full’.

Number 4 novel writing style point - write like you talk. If you
try and use too many ‘big’ words, or clever phrases, you will
probably end up looking like a clown, or worse, like Jeffery
Archer. It will also enable you to write faster, as you won’t
have to keep checking the spelling. Thirdly it will help avoid
your work sinking into cliche, and will finally avoid alienating
your reader. You aren’t gonna win any points for word
complexity, either from your readers or potential publishers.
This is writing, NOT scrabble!

Number 5 novel writing style point - sentence complexity. The
Goldilocks principle operates here - i.e. neither too short or
too long. This sentence is too short. This perfectly chosen
combination of words making up a single element of narrative
description, on the other extremity of an arm, is possibly
verging on the point of being perceived as potentially a little
on the less than short side.

Number 5 novel writing style point - James Joyce already did it.
In other words, don’t imagine you can ditch the basic rules of
grammar and write sloppily. Basic grammar is essential if you
don’t want to turn off the vast majority of your potential
readership. Seriously young Jedi it is.

Number 6 novel writing style point - dialogue to die for. Check
your punctuation. One of the most common problems is losing
track in the narrative. You’ve probably seen examples of this -
you get confused as to who is speaking, and need to go back over
a paragraph. Instant reader turn off! Also ensure your
characters speak naturally. If, when you re-read your dialogue,
it sounds stilted to you, it probably is. Never be afraid to
reword dialogue until it sounds ‘right’. Good dialogue, by the
way, should advance the plot, or show some new facet of a
character. Small talk is for the bar, not a best seller. The
interactive writer’s course at www.GetPlotted.com has some
good tips on this topic - writing good dialogue is actually
quite straightforward, as long as you obey the single easy
‘golden rule’. Ultimately, if you can differentiate your
characters properly, you will even be able to occasionally drop
the ‘he said’ qualifier - the character’s speech will identify
them to the reader!

Public Speaking: Proverb Fortune Cookie Humor

(Note: Determine if this is politically correct for your audience.)

You can throw in a cute diversion to a boring public speaking engagement by attributing a saying to an ancient Chinese philosopher. Since these sayings are not attributed to anyone in particular, feel free to change or update them to fit your situation and to enhance their humor.

(The term ‘original’ here means as original as something can be after being recited and translated for several hundred years.)

Original: You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair.

Update: You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from pooping on your Gucci blazer.

Original: He who walk on eggs should tread lightly.

Update: He who walk on eggs should find out the price per dozen.

Original: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

Update: People who live in glass houses should pull down the blinds.

Copyright © 1998 - 2005 Advanced Public Speaking Institute

Tom Antion provides entertaining speeches and educational seminars. He is the ultimate entrepreneur, having owned many businesses BEFORE graduating college. Tom is the author of the best selling presentation skills book “Wake ‘em Up Business Presentations” and “Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing.” It is important to Tom that his knowledge be not only absorbed, but enjoyed. This is why he delivers his speeches laced with great humor and hysterical jokes. Tom has addressed more than 87 different industries and is thoroughly committed to his clients’ needs. http://www.antion.com

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